A Subtle Hint of Irony
by a certain slant of light
Summary: On one pleasant afternoon, Shunsui Kyouraku teaches his new vice captain the most important lesson of all. [ShunsuiNanao][meeting fic]


**Author's Note:** Yup, I thought I'd give it a shot: a "Shunsui and Nanao meet!" fic. I actually have at least two other meeting ideas, but decided I'd go with this one first (though I plan to scribble them all down very soon). Yes, I know this sort of thing isn't uncommon, but I'm hoping that at least one of my three ideas (the next two will see the light of day eventually) will hit the nail on the head. Once again dedicated to the Shunsui/Nanao community on LiveJournal for being made of so much awesome, and thanks to SFF Corgi for helping spark the idea!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, nor any of its respective characters, locations, etc. (This is mostly because my name isn't nearly as awesome as Tite Kubo's.)

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"A Subtle Hint of Irony"  
_By Genetix Chiquita_

Shunsui Kyouraku, despite his carefree and fun loving nature, was not looking forward to this afternoon. Though all of Seireitei was in a generally happy mood (what with the sun bathing the Court in pure spring warmth), Shunsui found himself regrettably sour. It wasn't the mood of the morning, per se, or even the people around him. Rather, it was the impending event he was dreading.

Yes, today was the day that Eighth Division Captain Shunsui Kyouraku got himself a vice-captain.

_Again. _

Now, it would be cruel to say that Shunsui didn't like vice-captains. Quite the opposite: he found them rather convenient, and even a little amusing to toy with. Still, like a child with a plaything, he tired of them quickly. And knowing the last few who had tried his patience and failed (and more oftentimes vice versa), he wouldn't be receiving the same fun recruits as he had previously.

And, oh, what fun they were.

First there was Sachiyo Takahashi, a rather obstinate tomboy with an eye for trouble. She liked to find different ways to grate on his every last nerve, which he liked to rebuff by telling her how pretty she looked in her "feminine" hakama. Despite her determination, she quit after the third month.

Following sweet Sachiyo came Aoto Mochizuki, who was chipper, well endowed and a little bit clueless. Though she'd never intended to, she offered him countless hours of laughter at her sheer idiotic questions. Regardless of how much he'd enjoyed her company, Shunsui was forced to demote her after five weeks – mostly because she was just as lazy as he.

Shadowing in the footsteps of adorable Aoto was Daiki Ito, a meek specimen of a girl with a knack for kidou and a general aptitude for study. She, however, was a relative mouse around men. He often wondered how she managed to get through academy training, considering she shrank into an infinitesimal speck whenever he happened to be in the same room with her. She resigned after only fourteen days.

And so now, after sweet Sachiyo, adorable Aoto and dear Daiki, Shunsui knew he had bypassed and eliminated most of the archetypes in the Court. The only vice-captain left for them to offer him (and probably the only type they wanted to, since he deserved the punishment) was probably some middle-aged man with a receding hairline, annoyingly anal-retentive organizational skills, a nagging nasally voice and a zanpakutou shoved so far up his ass that he didn't even believe in the concept of fun.

Drooping his shoulders and trying his very best to ignore how Goddamn pleasant the day was, Shunsui finally dragged his feet to the Eighth Division office. His fingers creaked and moaned as he pulled open the door, having trouble crossing the threshold of the refreshing spring day into a desert of musty mahogany floorboards. Finally forsaking his negative attitude, he stepped in and morosely shut the door behind him.

"Shunsui Kyouraku, Captain of Eighth Division of the Court of Pure Souls, the Office of Forty-Six has convened and appointed to you a vice-captain after much deliberation," came the irritatingly accented voice of Captain Yamamoto's number two, Choujirou Sasakibe.

Shunsui nodded, biting back a guttural groan and shoving his fisted hands behind his haori. Needless to say, Choujirou was not his favorite person.

"Allow me to introduce Nanao Ise."

At that, Shunsui's ears perked. Nanao was a very pretty name, and certainly not one for a boy to have (much less a balding man).

Out of the dim shadows, like in some tawdry romance novel, stepped a gem of a woman. She was petite, with thinly framed glasses, dark eyes and black hair pinned immaculately in a severe bun. Though he didn't care for the hair (his fingers simply itched to release the poor mistreated locks), he had to assume it was his lucky day.

She bowed deeply. "I hope to learn much from you, Captain Kyouraku."

He noticed her shift awkwardly on her feet and realized his rudeness. "Nanao-chan, is it? A pleasure to meet you!"

"Ise-san, if you please," she told him, adjusting her glasses. "Or Vice-Captain, if it suits you."

"Oh, but it does not suit you!" he replied, grinning madly. "Nanao-chan it shall be, to suit your feminine demeanor!"

She blushed a bit, neither pleased nor comfortable.

"Yes, well," resumed Choujirou, clearing his throat and further aggravating Shunsui, "Ise-san here is a graduate of the academy. She excels at kidou, and the Office of Forty-Six hopes fervently that you'll find her to your liking."

"No need to worry about that," Shunsui assured, only letting the slightest tinge of innuendo seep into his tone.

Choujirou nodded. "I shall be taking my leave then." He bowed first to Shunsui, then to Nanao. "Goodbye."

Shunsui waited until he heard the soft click of the door before giving Nanao another inconspicuous once-over. Afraid to further make her uncomfortable, he extended a hand generously. "Well, Nanao-chan, would you like a tour of the division?"

Nanao glanced at his hand before meeting his eyes, clearly uninterested. "I am actually very familiar with the layout of Seireitei, Captain. My apologies; I had not known you wished to give me a tour."

Shunsui smiled. "All the better: now we may go for a walk without any pesky interruptions!"

"Are you sure?" she asked, though she clearly didn't want to appear too reluctant on her first day. "There seems to be paperwork on your desk that requires attention."

"Paperwork can wait," he told her, already making his way towards the exit. "But a perfect spring day does not last forever, Nanao-chan!"

"Please," she persisted, "call me Ise-san."

"Nonsense!" he insisted, halfway out the door. "Unless you plan on calling me Shunsui-kun."

Her face visibly stiffened, and he had to stifle a chuckle. "Certainly not!"

"Then shall we go for a walk, Nanao-chan?" he asked, emphasizing the new nickname.

Casting a wistful glance at the stack of papers on his desk, she nodded and followed him into the glimmering sunlight. Again, Shunsui drank her appearance in: though she was dressed in the unflattering uniform all shinigami wore, there was something so ultimately pretty about her that he just couldn't put his finger on. As they slowly made their way forward, he continued to stare at her, intent on discovering this sudden secret of attractiveness.

"Sir?" called her voice, more irate than inquisitive.

Correcting himself, Shunsui averted his stare. "My apologies, Nanao-chan."

"Ise-san."

He shrugged. "I was merely entranced by your beauty."

He noticed her cheeks flush pink a bit, and assumed she didn't receive flattery often. Pity.

"If you don't mind my asking," Nanao interrupted his thoughts again, "where exactly are we going?"

Glancing about at their surroundings, Shunsui shrugged again. "Is there somewhere we ought to be going?"

She blinked, clearly a bit surprised. "I had assumed you'd had a destination when we left."

He smiled graciously, if not a little roguishly as well. "You'll come to find that I rarely ever have a set destination, Nanao-chan."

"Ise-san," her voice grated.

"Of course," he replied airily.

"If we're not going anywhere in particular," she ventured again after a few moments of silence, "perhaps I should return to the office and see to the paperwork."

"Nonsense," he insisted. "Paperwork is a captain's job."

"Then perhaps you should accompany me," she tried.

Shunsui grinned. "You misunderstand me, Nanao-chan. I have no intention of doing paperwork today. Or, favorably, ever in my life."

She stopped then, eyebrow twitching menacingly (a trait Shunsui picked up on immediately and found just a little cute). "Then what is the point of this walk?"

He looked at her curiously. "Does there need to be a point?"

"Yes!" she replied, as if it were obvious. "If not, then… then what is the point?"

Rolling his eyes, he told her simply, "The point is that there is none." Approaching her, he motioned around them: warm sunlight shone over the green trees, the first sakura petals gracing the ground and foreshadowing the coming rain of cherry blossoms. "On days such as these, one is best off to have no destination at all."

"That makes no sense," she retorted, nudging her glasses onto the bridge of her nose.

He shook his head in dismay. "Beauty is wasted by those who overanalyze it, Nanao-chan. When one sees without searching, when one feels without foraging, only then can one know the true beauty of a spring's day." Bending down, he plucked a pristine sakura petal from the ground at her feet. Gently taking her hand, he placed the frail petal in her palm, wrapping his own fingers delicately around hers. "I would forsake a thousand years of paperwork for one moment in the sun."

She looked incredulously at her hand, then glanced tentatively up at him. He could see her ears burned as she swallowed deeply, torn between shock and awe. She took a moment then, staring into his eyes, to look past their lazy droop and find something quite sincere.

And then, as if struck by genius, he suddenly realized what made this woman so pretty: it was the simple fact that she was so plain. Her normal expression, so immaculate and apathetic, made her looks of bemusement or even anger all the more precious. She thought she was a statue, but now Shunsui knew better: Nanao Ise was a work of art.

Melting beneath his stare, Nanao blushed a deeper crimson. Regaining her bearings too soon for Shunsui's taste, she quickly withdrew her hand.

"I… I suppose," was all she said, staring intensely at the ground.

He chuckled lightly, scratching the back of his neck and sliding effortlessly into his former ease. "I guess that paperwork really must be done."

Her eyes flew up to him again. "But… you just said…!"

Shunsui shrugged and grinned goofily, clapping a hand on her shoulder. "There will be others." With that, he marched happily past her, calling once over his shoulder, "That paperwork won't do itself, Nanao-chan! Really, abandoning office work for a little spring saunter – I'm beginning to doubt your priorities!"

Nanao's face burned scarlet again, this time with frustration, as she quickly ran after her infuriating new captain. "What I wouldn't give to be in Thirteenth Division," she muttered even as she tucked the delicate pink petal into the vice-captain's sash around her arm, where it would remain for years to come.


End file.
